The night before my last chemo I was in a high state of anxiety and had a nightmare that they gave me the wrong bag of chemo, then the line came out and they couldn't get it back in, then there was a gas emergency in town and the day ward was swamped with people unable to breathe and I couldn't find a chair to sit down on. So it was a great surprize that the line went in first pop, and all the chemo went in at quite a high rate, I got the lunch I ordered and was feeling good when Dawn dropped me home and made me a cuppa. I said goodbye to Patsy and Annette and said - in the nicest possible way that I hope I never see them again. I had given them so much cheek (a bit like my Dad) that I think they might have been pleased to see the back of me.
I noticed in the Listener a quote from a Dr David Agus "We talk about cancer as a noun, as if it is a one-time event. But the body is changing all the time. We should think about it instead as a verb "I'm cancering". The trick would be to pick up on early signs of when a person started to "cancer" and then nip it in the bud."
This is a good reflection of how I feel about cancer now, it is all a matter of cell growth over time. Cancer cannot seem to be diagnosed at one point it needs to be observed over time.
I wonder if my cancering time is over . Roll on October and we shall see what things look like now.
Go Gwen! Fingers crossed :)
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